Checklist For 'The Other Woman' Gay Version
By Douglas MacPherson

The often-maligned designation of “the other woman” isn’t just for females.  If you’re man in a serious romantic relationship with a man that is already partnered, congratulations, you’re the other woman.  Here’s your future.

q Call him only on his cell phone.  In fact, you’ll probably never have his home number, or he’ll deny he has a landline.

q He will only answer his phone at home if his partner is not there.

q Messages you leave for him will not be returned promptly…ever.  He has other things to do, and another person to do them with.  Lame but plausible excuses will be offered.  Anticipate lots of cell phone reception problems. 

q You’ll eventually discover that his “open relationship” isn’t open enough that his partner knows about it. 

q You will incorporate him into your life, but it will not be reciprocated.  He will meet your family and friends.  You will never meet his, other than the occasional “collaborator” friend who doesn’t like his partner. 

q Your friends probably won’t like him very much, or your situation, but will be tolerant out of respect for you.  Warnings, gentle and otherwise will be offered, and you will ignore them.  Prepare for pity. 

q Get used to him being in your home, because other than the rare occasions when his partner is away will you get to go [guiltily] to his.  

q Holidays?  Forget it, you’ll never see him.   He’s at home with his partner putting on a show of domestic bliss for his friends that you will never know.  

q Respect his relationship with his partner, even though he doesn’t.  His partner was not given a choice about participating in this little deception, you were. 

q Don’t think that you are smart enough or strong enough to handle the situation and keep the whole affair in perspective.  You’re not, and you won’t.

q Get used to feeling guilty and embarrassed that you don’t have enough self-respect to find a person of your own, but have to sneak around and poach one from someone else. 

q Get a sunlamp; you’ll need it, as you’ll live in the shadows.  Your social life will wither because as a couple will not go to social functions or try to make new friends.  You’re a secret, remember?

q The out of town trips with him where you get to be a real [pretend] couple are like a drug.  You get hooked on him all over again.  Once back home, the withdrawals are the pits.  

q If it seems that issues about your relationship never get resolved it’s because they don’t.  He likes the situation the way it is.  You will be in an endless toxic loop of loving him and hating the situation. 

q He will say he loves you, and he might, but the reality is he doesn’t respect you.  If he did he wouldn’t put you in a situation where you compromise your values for his needs.  His needs, remember that line, you’ll hear it a lot.

q He won’t leave his partner for you.  If he did you wouldn’t want him anyway.  He’ll do the same thing to you eventually.  In fact, he’s probably cheating on you now.

q Your relationship is based on lies.  Get used to it.  He’s lying to his partner about where he is, what he’s doing, and who he’s doing it with.  He’ll lie to you about the same.  In fact, he will lie when the truth would do.  Pretty soon you’ll be lying too.  It’s contagious. 

q You suddenly understand why his partner just doesn’t get him, has emotionally withdrawn, doesn’t want sex, or any of the other cliché reasons he gave you for having to [reluctantly] seek companionship outside his relationship.  

q Do some research about narcissism, and think about it as he admires himself in the mirror.  In the end, it’s all about his need for attention and adoration.  You’re just the delivery vehicle.

q Don’t forget your part in all of this.  You are a participant, not the victim.  No matter what he told you, deep down you knew it was all a lie.  He didn’t deceive or use you.  You deceived yourself.  Look inward.

q Don’t fool yourself that you’ll stay in this relationship until a more appropriate one comes your way, then you’ll leave.  You have to leave for yourself, not for someone else or a different and equally destructive relationship cycle will begin. 

q You’ll break up in your mind a hundred times with him.  You may even try, but when you see him it melts away.  You learn not to listen to your gut, and rationalize that your relationship however flawed is better than being alone. 

q A day will come when the stars align.  He blows off a date, doesn’t return a call, or you catch him in yet another lie.  You’re pissed and you’ve got leverage.  This is your chance.  Don’t try to do a graceful exit, or let him down gently, [because God knows he’s so sensitive] just bolt for the door and keep running until you clear the wreckage.

q When you look back on the affair, it will take you some time to forgive yourself for not kicking him to the curb when you first discovered he had a partner.  That’s normal.  Do a postmortem and be brutally honest with yourself so that you learn from your mistakes and move on.   

q Safe journey. 

Published under the name: Murdock Douglas

The often-maligned designation of “the other woman” isn’t just for females.  If you’re man in a serious romantic relationship with a man that is already partnered, congratulations, you’re the other woman.  Here’s your future.

q Call him only on his cell phone.  In fact, you’ll probably never have his home number, or he’ll deny he has a landline.

q He will only answer his phone at home if his partner is not there.

q Messages you leave for him will not be returned promptly…ever.  He has other things to do, and another person to do them with.  Lame but plausible excuses will be offered.  Anticipate lots of cell phone reception problems. 

q You’ll eventually discover that his “open relationship” isn’t open enough that his partner knows about it. 

q You will incorporate him into your life, but it will not be reciprocated.  He will meet your family and friends.  You will never meet his, other than the occasional “collaborator” friend who doesn’t like his partner. 

q Your friends probably won’t like him very much, or your situation, but will be tolerant out of respect for you.  Warnings, gentle and otherwise will be offered, and you will ignore them.  Prepare for pity. 

q Get used to him being in your home, because other than the rare occasions when his partner is away will you get to go [guiltily] to his.  

q Holidays?  Forget it, you’ll never see him.   He’s at home with his partner putting on a show of domestic bliss for his friends that you will never know.  

q Respect his relationship with his partner, even though he doesn’t.  His partner was not given a choice about participating in this little deception, you were. 

q Don’t think that you are smart enough or strong enough to handle the situation and keep the whole affair in perspective.  You’re not, and you won’t.

q Get used to feeling guilty and embarrassed that you don’t have enough self-respect to find a person of your own, but have to sneak around and poach one from someone else. 

q Get a sunlamp; you’ll need it, as you’ll live in the shadows.  Your social life will wither because as a couple will not go to social functions or try to make new friends.  You’re a secret, remember?

q The out of town trips with him where you get to be a real [pretend] couple are like a drug.  You get hooked on him all over again.  Once back home, the withdrawals are the pits.  

q If it seems that issues about your relationship never get resolved it’s because they don’t.  He likes the situation the way it is.  You will be in an endless toxic loop of loving him and hating the situation. 

q He will say he loves you, and he might, but the reality is he doesn’t respect you.  If he did he wouldn’t put you in a situation where you compromise your values for his needs.  His needs, remember that line, you’ll hear it a lot.

q He won’t leave his partner for you.  If he did you wouldn’t want him anyway.  He’ll do the same thing to you eventually.  In fact, he’s probably cheating on you now.

q Your relationship is based on lies.  Get used to it.  He’s lying to his partner about where he is, what he’s doing, and who he’s doing it with.  He’ll lie to you about the same.  In fact, he will lie when the truth would do.  Pretty soon you’ll be lying too.  It’s contagious. 

q You suddenly understand why his partner just doesn’t get him, has emotionally withdrawn, doesn’t want sex, or any of the other cliché reasons he gave you for having to [reluctantly] seek companionship outside his relationship.  

q Do some research about narcissism, and think about it as he admires himself in the mirror.  In the end, it’s all about his need for attention and adoration.  You’re just the delivery vehicle.

q Don’t forget your part in all of this.  You are a participant, not the victim.  No matter what he told you, deep down you knew it was all a lie.  He didn’t deceive or use you.  You deceived yourself.  Look inward.

q Don’t fool yourself that you’ll stay in this relationship until a more appropriate one comes your way, then you’ll leave.  You have to leave for yourself, not for someone else or a different and equally destructive relationship cycle will begin. 

q You’ll break up in your mind a hundred times with him.  You may even try, but when you see him it melts away.  You learn not to listen to your gut, and rationalize that your relationship however flawed is better than being alone. 

q A day will come when the stars align.  He blows off a date, doesn’t return a call, or you catch him in yet another lie.  You’re pissed and you’ve got leverage.  This is your chance.  Don’t try to do a graceful exit, or let him down gently, [because God knows he’s so sensitive] just bolt for the door and keep running until you clear the wreckage.

q When you look back on the affair, it will take you some time to forgive yourself for not kicking him to the curb when you first discovered he had a partner.  That’s normal.  Do a postmortem and be brutally honest with yourself so that you learn from your mistakes and move on.   

q Safe journey. 

Published under the name: Murdock Douglas

© Douglas MacPherson, All Rights Reserved

Article provided by GayLinkContent.com. For more information, contact us at info@gaylinkcontent.com.

The often-maligned designation of “the other woman” isn’t just for females.  If you’re man in a serious romantic relationship with a man that is already partnered, congratulations, you’re the other woman.  Here’s your future.

q Call him only on his cell phone.  In fact, you’ll probably never have his home number, or he’ll deny he has a landline.

q He will only answer his phone at home if his partner is not there.

q Messages you leave for him will not be returned promptly…ever.  He has other things to do, and another person to do them with.  Lame but plausible excuses will be offered.  Anticipate lots of cell phone reception problems. 

q You’ll eventually discover that his “open relationship” isn’t open enough that his partner knows about it. 

q You will incorporate him into your life, but it will not be reciprocated.  He will meet your family and friends.  You will never meet his, other than the occasional “collaborator” friend who doesn’t like his partner. 

q Your friends probably won’t like him very much, or your situation, but will be tolerant out of respect for you.  Warnings, gentle and otherwise will be offered, and you will ignore them.  Prepare for pity. 

q Get used to him being in your home, because other than the rare occasions when his partner is away will you get to go [guiltily] to his.  

q Holidays?  Forget it, you’ll never see him.   He’s at home with his partner putting on a show of domestic bliss for his friends that you will never know.  

q Respect his relationship with his partner, even though he doesn’t.  His partner was not given a choice about participating in this little deception, you were. 

q Don’t think that you are smart enough or strong enough to handle the situation and keep the whole affair in perspective.  You’re not, and you won’t.

q Get used to feeling guilty and embarrassed that you don’t have enough self-respect to find a person of your own, but have to sneak around and poach one from someone else. 

q Get a sunlamp; you’ll need it, as you’ll live in the shadows.  Your social life will wither because as a couple will not go to social functions or try to make new friends.  You’re a secret, remember?

q The out of town trips with him where you get to be a real [pretend] couple are like a drug.  You get hooked on him all over again.  Once back home, the withdrawals are the pits.  

q If it seems that issues about your relationship never get resolved it’s because they don’t.  He likes the situation the way it is.  You will be in an endless toxic loop of loving him and hating the situation. 

q He will say he loves you, and he might, but the reality is he doesn’t respect you.  If he did he wouldn’t put you in a situation where you compromise your values for his needs.  His needs, remember that line, you’ll hear it a lot.

q He won’t leave his partner for you.  If he did you wouldn’t want him anyway.  He’ll do the same thing to you eventually.  In fact, he’s probably cheating on you now.

q Your relationship is based on lies.  Get used to it.  He’s lying to his partner about where he is, what he’s doing, and who he’s doing it with.  He’ll lie to you about the same.  In fact, he will lie when the truth would do.  Pretty soon you’ll be lying too.  It’s contagious. 

q You suddenly understand why his partner just doesn’t get him, has emotionally withdrawn, doesn’t want sex, or any of the other cliché reasons he gave you for having to [reluctantly] seek companionship outside his relationship.  

q Do some research about narcissism, and think about it as he admires himself in the mirror.  In the end, it’s all about his need for attention and adoration.  You’re just the delivery vehicle.

q Don’t forget your part in all of this.  You are a participant, not the victim.  No matter what he told you, deep down you knew it was all a lie.  He didn’t deceive or use you.  You deceived yourself.  Look inward.

q Don’t fool yourself that you’ll stay in this relationship until a more appropriate one comes your way, then you’ll leave.  You have to leave for yourself, not for someone else or a different and equally destructive relationship cycle will begin. 

q You’ll break up in your mind a hundred times with him.  You may even try, but when you see him it melts away.  You learn not to listen to your gut, and rationalize that your relationship however flawed is better than being alone. 

q A day will come when the stars align.  He blows off a date, doesn’t return a call, or you catch him in yet another lie.  You’re pissed and you’ve got leverage.  This is your chance.  Don’t try to do a graceful exit, or let him down gently, [because God knows he’s so sensitive] just bolt for the door and keep running until you clear the wreckage.

q When you look back on the affair, it will take you some time to forgive yourself for not kicking him to the curb when you first discovered he had a partner.  That’s normal.  Do a postmortem and be brutally honest with yourself so that you learn from your mistakes and move on.   

q Safe journey. 

Published under the name: Murdock Douglas

© Douglas MacPherson, All Rights Reserved

Article provided by GayLinkContent.com. For more information, contact us at info@gaylinkcontent.com.