10 Things Not To Say During Sex

<p>Talking during sex doesn't often happen - but there are definitely some stay-clear subjects during the making of whoopee. Here are our Top 10 things not to say during sex.</p> <p>by Jake Simpson | 15th September 2013</p><p></p><p></p><p>1) Are you done yet?</p><p></p><p> </p><p><img src="http://www.thegayuk.com/communities/8/004/009/928/388/images/4586843940.jpg" width="460" height="357" alt="Darhhhling... Hurry up. I'm bored" title="Darhhhling... Hurry up. I'm bored"/></p> <p></p><p>It's not a race - and there isn't a prize for being first! Take your time and if you finish before your partner, don't get all huffy. Nothing is more of a turn off that a huffy bed partner.</p><p></p><p>2) I'm gonna fart...</p><p></p><p> </p><p><img src="http://www.thegayuk.com/communities/8/004/009/928/388/images/4594672289.jpg" width="459" height="306" alt="Trumpy trump trump..." title="Trumpy trump trump..."/></p> <p></p><p></p><p>We know it's just a natural part of life, trumps are not a good idea mid session. So if you know you're getting lucky this evening stay clear from foods that'll make you windy.</p><p></p><p>3) My ex used to do this...</p><p></p><p></p><p> </p><p><img src="http://www.thegayuk.com/communities/8/004/009/928/388/images/4591062240.jpg" width="460" height="301" alt="Look - no hands." title="Look - no hands."/></p> <p></p><p>We don't care if your ex had a 9 incher that, stayed solid for hours on end and came on command. We are different and special in our own way. Love the way I make love or move on.</p><p></p><p>4) Do you mind if my ____________ watches</p><p></p><p> </p><p><img src="http://www.thegayuk.com/communities/8/004/009/928/388/images/4592635333.jpg" width="460" height="352" alt="Just connecting us to the world..." title="Just connecting us to the world..."/></p> <p></p><p></p><p>Cat, brother, neighbour, person on the other end of Face Time. It's just weird and odd.</p><p></p><p>5) I'm just going to tweet this</p><p></p><p> </p><p><img src="http://www.thegayuk.com/communities/8/004/009/928/388/images/4585397292.png" width="459" height="197" alt="" title=""/></p> <p></p><p>Something’s should not be social network gossip. Unless of course you're a Kardashian, in which case let the world know your business - even if they don't care.</p><p></p><p>6) What’s your name again?</p><p></p><p></p><p> </p><p><img src="http://www.thegayuk.com/communities/8/004/009/928/388/images/4583738137.jpg" width="460" height="307" alt="You're my best mate... No wait, who are you?" title="You're my best mate... No wait, who are you?"/></p> <p>Try to keep up-to-date with the name of your current shag. If in doubt don't check his underwear - his name is unlikely to be Calvin Klein.</p><p></p><p>7) Start crying for no reason.</p><p></p><p> </p><p><img src="http://www.thegayuk.com/communities/8/004/009/928/388/images/4590655577.jpg" width="460" height="601" alt="What the hell?" title="What the hell?"/></p> <p></p><p>This is self-explanatory and may look a little unhinged if you start crying mid hump.</p><p></p><p>8) Wow that tastes terrible </p><p></p><p> </p><p><img src="http://www.thegayuk.com/communities/8/004/009/928/388/images/4563253514.jpg" width="460" height="307" alt="The white stuff" title="The white stuff"/></p> <p></p><p>If you're swallowing and his man mayo tastes fowl take a large slip of water and smile sweetly. If you're going to see him again suggest a fruit filled diet to help make him taste sweet and good.</p><p></p><p></p><p>9) Ask if you look fat</p><p></p><p></p><p> </p><p><img src="http://www.thegayuk.com/communities/8/004/009/928/388/images/4591406830.jpg" width="460" height="288" alt="" title=""/></p> <p>A total turn off and likely not to get a good reaction, often because there's no right answer for the person who's just asked the F-bomb. If you're feeling self-conscience then turn the light down low.</p><p></p><p>10) Take a phone call</p><p></p><p></p><p> </p><p><img src="http://www.thegayuk.com/communities/8/004/009/928/388/images/4586844080.jpg" width="460" height="601" alt="Buy, sell... Oh whatever" title="Buy, sell... Oh whatever"/></p> <p></p><p>Now is not the time to answer that phone call, your stocks and shares will be there once you’re done!</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p> </p>