No Christmas would be complete without a brand new Christmas hit and that's exactly what Courtney Act, Alaska and Willam have delivered to us... Complete with sexy Santas and a dog.
We've not been so excited about the coming together of talent since Band Aid 30.
Now we're all about dissecting and discovering the truth behind the surface messages and the true meanings of music videos. We won't stop until we've uncovered the truth, the true subplot to the songs. Here's what we really think went down**.
Behold the 15 moments in Dear Santa Bring Me A Man, (which is out now on iTunes - nicely plugged) that blew our tiny minds.
**Probably not, maybe didn't happen, don't sue us.
OPENING SCENE: Courtney Act channeling her inner Charlene circa 1988 Neighbours. Hail to the Kylie. We feel this is going to be a hit already.
The Golden Girls are looking marvellous, considering... Anyways in this part of the video, the Queens are swapping gifts. And the dog be like... "WTF", we think.
"It's an XL YOU BIATCH...."
Just look at the quality of the tree. No expense spared and that is the hallmark of a Christmas hit. Those baubles. Props to props.
Dog be like: "Shady"
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So then each of the ladies get up and close with a sexy Santa type. This dude doesn't look like any Santa we've ever met. Unless Santa found botox and got into yoga in a big way.
Looking for Christmas nuts? Clearly.
Drag on a skateboard. The easiest and most convenient way to transport the modern Queen.
Even DQs need to go to the gyno now and then for their seasonal check ups and tuning...
This picture gives me nightmares, reminds me of the holidays of old. Flashback with Aunty Maude and Grandma Mable.
Look closely... Christmas log anyone?
I just noticed this picture is out of sync... So to compensate... Boobs.
It's at this point in the video that Alaska be like: "hiiiiiiiiiii"
Bukkake snow. Just saying.
Can I get an amen up in here.
Don't forget you can read our exclusive interview with Courtney Act in our Coming Out Issue.
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