Many suggest that events like Folsom Street hurt the “gay movement.”  If advancing the gay movement is about adhering to the ideals of others, then count me out.  Here is a old blog post from following Dore Alley that you might enjoy.  Remember, live life on your own terms!

This past weekend was Dore Alley. For those of you out of the area, Dore Alley is an annual leather street festival that features mild to wild, with everything in between. My business partner recently broke her ankle and attended the event in a wheelchair – which you may be interested in knowing is about at cock level – “You might want to put some sunscreen on that . . . .”

The next day, I was driving to work listening to the radio and the local gay radio jocks were bitchin’ about Dore Alley. “It’s stuff like that that sets back the gay movement. Don’t they know that the media loves that kind of stuff, which hurts our chances with gay marriage . . .” According to these two (who will remain nameless), we are supposed to be respectable and passable.

WHAT?

Ok, so I nearly drove off the road yelling at my radio (which is not as productive as you would think). These are the types of gay men who scare me. The whole idea of acceptance is accepting oneself for who you truly are and not being defined by the media or political agendas or simply by others. It’s about living life on your own terms.

And to borrow heavily from the Laurel Thatcher Ulrich quote – Well-behaved gays seldom make history. Those that could fit in have always retreated to the safety of their closets.Let us not forget – Stonewall was a bunch of pissed off drag queens.

So, you are going to tell me what is acceptable gay behavior? Oh No Miss Thing – You did not go there!! Once you start to define “the norms” by which I am supposed to live – you’ve started down a very slippery slope. I don’t what to be acceptable; I don’t need to “pass” as straight and I surely don’t need you to tell how to act.

Am I threatening our chances for gay marriage? Well – if I am, then I don’t want it on those terms. “If you promise not to act gay . . .” Marriage is a right afforded to most couples in our country and I as a citizen deserve that basic right. I am not a second class citizen, and no “straight” couple has to adhere to guidelines on what is acceptable “straight” behavior.

So, I will continue to be different. I may be the 7 foot tall drag queen in stiletto heels and I will get media coverage – because I am fabulous and I am interesting. Why don’t “average” folks get the media spotlight – Well, because you’re not interesting, you are average. So, we are officially putting the gay community on notice – We will not be clones. We will wear leather – We will be a bears – We will wear drag – We will be Dykes on Bikes – We will be tranny kids – but we will not try to pass just to fit in.

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