April The 17th – The Day Same-Sex Marriage Came To New Zealand

April the Seventeenth

by Nod Ghosh | 7th April 2014

April 17th 2013. It's not a date many New Zealanders will have marked in their diaries. My overriding memories are of a multi-layered cake, incorporating fresh dates, soaked in Marsala and metaphorical tears of happiness. As we approach the anniversary, it's good to remember why we celebrated.

Manurewa Labour M.P. Louisa Wall's Marriage (Definition of Marriage) Amendment Act 2013 passed its third reading in NZ Parliament. Seventy-seven votes in favour, and forty-four against. People were jubilant throughout the country. Others despaired, as the law change challenged their traditional beliefs.

It's sobering to see which organisations worked together to assist in the campaign. New Zealand Nurses' Organisation, Christians for Marriage Equality Aotearoa NZ, and Young Labour all contributed. An Auckland church displayed a billboard showing a wedding cake topped with two brides, to back the bill. Support came from all ends of the political spectrum. A moving speech by the right of centre National Party's Maurice Williamson's went viral on the web.

What will the new law change mean?

A major impact will be for same sex couples that adopt. The previous system only permitted "spouses" to make a joint application to adopt. Although gay couples had been adopting in NZ for many years, only one partner was named as the child's parent. This could have caused complications if they died.

Eighty-two couples married in the first month after same sex marriage became possible on the 19th August 2013. They included many who were converting from a civil union. A quarter came from overseas.

And that cake? Another group affected include heterosexual married couples that elect to stay together when one partner undergoes gender reassignment. I have been with my partner for over thirty years. We've been married for most of that. (As we chose that epitome of romantic destinations - Leeds Registry Office to wed, our union will come under the remit of UK, rather than NZ law). When her transition is complete, she will apply for her gender recognition certificate.

Under the old system, our marriage would become null and void. Civil marriage does not define the relationship between two people. In reality, dissolution would make little difference to us in any practical sense. However, it would have galled to have our marriage annulled against our wills. My partner made me the complicated 'coming out' cake to take to work. We chose the eighteenth of April to make her transition public.

It'll be my turn to make a cake this year. As we celebrate, let's spare a thought for those around the globe who are not yet fighting for marriage equality, but struggle to conduct same sex relationships in the open. Russia, India, several African countries, to name a few. Nothing can take away the sanctity of people's commitment to one-another, or the validity of consenting short-term liaisons. Let's hope it won't be long until these people will be able to take teetering cakes smothered in cream to the workplace to validate their identity and relationships.

References and related links:

Louisa Wall explains the implications of the law change for adoptive gay couples:

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/opinion/news/article.cfm?c_id=466&objectid=10872764

Maurice Williamson's "Big gay rainbow" speech in NZ parliament: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCDEiaoEP2U

Waiata (ritualistic song) in NZ parliament after third reading of Louisa Wall's bill:

http://www.radiolive.co.nz/VIDEO-Pokarekare-Ana-as-marriage-equality-bill-passes/tabid/504/articleID/34794/Default.aspx

Cake billboard outside Auckland church, when debate was raging:

http://www.stuff.co.nz/auckland/local-news/7570944/Church-billboard-stirs-marriage-debate

Same sex marriages in the first month:

http://www.scoop.co.nz/stories/PO1309/S00221/82-same-sex-marriages-since-law-change.htm