In a moving interview, Davina McCall talks about why she is proud to be hosting Stand Up To Cancer after losing her own sister to lung cancer two years ago.
by Newsdesk | 17th October 2014
Why did you want to support the Stand Up To Cancer campaign?
It is an amazing campaign. What I love about it is that it feels like the money is going towards something that can really revolutionise the way we treat people for cancer. I read recently that the way lung cancer is treated t has been revolutionised. My sister, Caroline, had primary lung cancer and I was really interested in that. You can see your money is making a difference. This research is going to change our lives, the lives of our children and it is going to be huge.
Two in four people now survive cancer. The money donated really can help can’t it?
I remember when I was a child, the word ‘cancer’ absolutely struck fear into everyone’s hearts. It was like a death sentence. If you got cancer, you thought ‘that’s it, you are gone’ and now I think we are seeing a real shift in the tide and survival rates are miles better.
Sadly you have had first hand experience of how cancer is such a terrible disease. Your own sister tragically died two years ago from lung cancer at the age of 50. Has time been a big healer for you?
Time helps with the immediate loss and that feeling of the gaping hole. I don’t want time to heal me. I don’t want to ever forget. I don’t want to ever feel better. That would be a disservice to Caroline. She was such a lovely, kind, and cuddly human being that I owe it to her to stay sad. I can’t explain it. I don’t want to get better.
Do you find little things set you off?
Yes definitely. I burst into tears when Kate Middleton announced she was pregnant again as my sister was the biggest royalist. I really, really miss talking things through with her. She was my sounding board. I really miss that. I think about her a lot when I am at home. She lived next door and she was in our house a lot. My husband and she had this amazing relationship where he didn’t mind at all that she was always with me and she loved him like a brother. We were very lucky. We were all together a lot. Whenever I was in the bath, I would call her up and say ‘I am getting in the bath, will you come and talk to me?’
How have your children coped with her death?
My children were devastated. It is a tough life lesson to learn very young. I didn’t really experience that until I was 12 or 13 when my great grandma died. To lose someone that young who they considered a second mum to them was pretty devastating. Her death had different effects on all of them. We got through it together. I talked to lots of people who had had losses and asked them how they dealt with it with their kids and I think the main idea was we all had something of Caroline’s wardrobe that smelt like Caroline and we all would talk about her. There were a few regrets. One of my kids said they wished they had said ‘I love you’ more. I explained they didn’t need to. Caroline knew how much they loved her. There are times now when we will go ‘oh Caroline would love that’.
Has her death made you want to relish every day more?
I like to try and relish most days. Caroline’s passing has made me want to look after myself a bit better and keep myself fit and healthy. I eat well. When Caroline got the terminal diagnosis in A & E, and they told her it was primary lung cancer, they asked her if she smoked. She said yes. She looked at me and cried and said ‘it’s all my fault’. I told her it wasn’t her fault. And that was the thing. In her own words, she smoked with impunity. She always used that excuse, which I used when I was smoking, of ‘oh I have got relatives who smoked until they died and they died when they were 90’. It’s an easy excuse to use. ‘My relatives are fine, I will be fine’. I always imagined Caroline was going to be fine because she told me this so many times.
Did you try to stop her smoking?
I said ‘you have to stop doing that’. But what happens when you go on and on at a smoker about stopping is it just makes them want to pick up a cigarette more. It has to be by prognosis or example. I stopped when I was 24. I don’t think Caroline ever wanted to stop. She never exercised either. She was the antithesis to me! We never noticed the symptoms. But she got brain tumours and that is when we started to realise there was something odd. But when she was diagnosed, I told her we would get through it together. If there is anything now that my children can take from this, it has to be that. Don’t smoke.
Would you advise others not to smoke?
It’s an easy one. It is a no brainer. I told Sara Cox the story about my sister quite soon after she died. Sara has never smoked since.
Do you try to be healthy all the time?
It’s doing what is good for you. We all know what that is. We can’t all be paragons of virtue all the time! It is generally making little changes to your diet. A 20-minute walk every day makes an enormous difference to everything. These kinds of things do help.
Everyone knows somebody who has had or who has cancer don’t they?
Cancer is a bastard. My first ever boyfriend’s mum taught me how to cook and how to be good in the kitchen. She was macrobiotic and ran five miles every other day and she got stomach cancer. Cancer holds no prisoners. It takes who it wants.
Do you fear cancer?
For a while after Caroline died, I was really fearful for about a year. I was paranoid all the time. I have got a bit more realistic now. You can’t live in the shadow of fear and Caroline wouldn’t want me to spend my whole life thinking every twinge was cancer. I have picked myself up and I have to get on with living.
Do you have screening that is available to you?
Yes all the normal ones. I will have a mammogram when I need to. I am always touching my boobs and making sure I haven’t got any lumps or bumps that I don’t recognise. I generally try and listen to my body and hear if it is telling me something and thankfully it isn’t…
And finally, why should people pick up the phone and donate?
Differences can be made in this country. Leading scientists are working very hard on how we look for and treat cancer. We can very much change our future and our children’s futures - God forbid they get cancer. It really is possible and so please do give generously.
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