On Thursday night, after a quick flash of my press badge, I found myself in a hotel lobby filled to the brim with gay men, fag hags and their 'straight' dates.
★★★★
It was a scene of air-kissing and ass-kissing - old men, their Eastern European girlfriends (aka escorts), socialites from the sixties and women who have had so much plastic surgery that they could blink their lips!
Everyone seemed to know each other - but I'm not convinced they actually did. I myself, made 5 'best friends' - without actually knowing their names.
As I glanced across the rows of crooked faces - there was 'old spice' - a 70 year old woman with her hair up in a high pony tail - wearing sequin leggings and silver open-toed shoes. And 'Lady Gaga's nan' - who turned out to be Lady Sandra Bates (whoever that is).
I was also introduced to the 'famous' Mike Hollingsworth ("you must know Mike Hollingsworth") - I didn't. And googling didn't help.
At one point, a woman practically crawled across the front row - "darling I NEED your number!" Supposedly I'm now a VIP at her fashion event on Monday (lucky me). I think she thought I was someone else.
I took my 19 year old Italian friend (I lovingly call Piccolo – Italian for little one – he’s 5’3) along to the show - he loves fashion. He wore a black sweater with 20 or so plastic toy planes stitched onto it - he was the star of the night - being papped more times than the models – especially the one I affectingly dubbed Quasimodo!
I sat in the front row (well I am Press - and I was wearing Louboutins). Someone made a fuss about Piccolo sitting next to me – “I’m saving a place for a friend”. After I moved their iPad and insisting Piccolo sat down - the friend eventually appeared, witnessed their seat loss and stormed off screaming to the designated (yet inept) 'seat holder' "I'll sit in the back row then, until I get my seat". I never saw her again (to us front-rowers - the back row is a far away nomad (and no-mate) land) - it is of no concern to us).
The event was hosted by Kaoska - an organisation that promotes young designers - the brain child of model, businessman, philanthropist and general London socialite Nomy Khan. Five designers were showcased - and actually, the collections were pretty good.
I especially enjoyed the male collection by Suzzane Claire Nicolson (I enjoyed the male models too). Her designs are based on a combination of her own photography, hand drawings and collages - pretty unique stuff. Hopefully - after an evening of a few drinks with said models these stylist outfits will soon be decorating my bedroom floor!
Hirika Jagani also showcased - with an oriental inspired collection - experimenting with bold prints and embroidery. The result? Delicate, yet striking dresses and bold yet pretty tops. Certainly a designer to watch.
Aina Bruce showed off some of her designs – audacious, strong dresses created to empower women (and drag queens). I especially liked her version of a wedding dress – I could see myself in it (potential suitors can contact me at @joshuawalker87).
At some point models appeared with styled bikes labelled 'Chill' - wearing plain white tee-shirts with the same branding. I still don't know what that was about - and despite the male models being part of this display - there were no skin-tight cycling shorts in sight – what a missed opportunity.
The closing designer was a 23 year old Russian named Marria Roslova. This writer had a brief interview with her - until she disappeared to talk to the presenter of the evening and never returned. She told me her love of fashion first materialised when she would dress her dolls as a girl. With one of her outfits being so risqué that it repeatedly flashed the model's noo noo at an unexpecting (yet expressionless) audience (Botox) - one can only pity her childhood dolls (her Barbie is still in protective custody).
Some of the models were flawless - Storm in particular really wowed the audience with a determined, yet relaxed walk; powerful poses, and striking features. Others really should have stayed at home (and stuck to their day time barista's jobs). At one point I thought one of the models was having a stroke!
The event was seamlessly organised by a very cute and attentive Jay Hofman. A twenty-something handsome event organiser - with sparkling brown eyes and one of the most stunning smiles I've ever seen. In fact, I would go to any event he was organising - even a lesbian wedding! (I'm joking!) ... (Even then I wouldn't go to a lesbian wedding).
Interestingly, it transpired that the rude Italian (self-cited bi-sexual) PR manager for the show was escorted off of the premises after being little too naziesque on the door. Supposedly, a few ‘VIPs’ (and I use that word loosely), weren’t allowed access – leading to a bad review in some blog with two avid readers. DRAMA…
And the party was fuelled by the new cider based champagne - Pomarina. I promised the owner I would be nice about it ... the nicest thing I could say, would be to say nothing at all.
... So with the entertainment off of the cat walk, almost as good as the entertainment on it - what gay man wouldn't want to spend his Thursday evening with Kaoska?
Thanks for the invite guys - it was 'absolutely fabulous'.
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