THEATRE REVIEW: WAG! The Musical – Charing Cross Theatre

<p>I have struggled over writing this review for a full week, primarily because I just couldn’t find the words to describe the excitement, hilarity and fabulousness that went into... oh, no, wait, that was another show. This was just awful.</p> <p><a href="http://www.thegayuk.com/RobinForemanQuercus">by Robin Foreman-Quercus</a> | 5th August 2013</p><p></p><p> </p><p><img src="http://www.thegayuk.com/communities/8/004/009/928/388/images/4596655286.jpg" width="460" height="525" alt="WAG! The Musical" title="WAG! The Musical"/></p> <p></p><p>Awful.</p><p></p><p>Anyone who knows me will know that I champion London theatre as much as possible. I think we are in really exciting times with new challenges and technology bringing a whole new mindset to the stage. However, WAG! is a blemish -a very, very dull blemish - on the London stage, and one I would be happy to see the back of.</p><p></p><p>The plot revolves around two female shop assistants, each in an ill-advised relationship (one with a married man; the other with an abuser). All day, they serve the bevy of glamorous WAGs that come through the department store and dream of becoming one of them. </p><p></p><p>THE POSITIVES (both of them): Katie Kerr as the fabulous Blow-Jo was a delight every moment she was on the stage. Out of the show’s characters, she was the only one I warmed to even slightly. Alyssa Kyria appeared as her regular character, Ariadne the Greek Wag, who is fairly well-known on the comedy / cabaret circuit. Kyria wrote her scenes herself, and they very much stood out from the tedium.</p><p></p><p>Acting-wise, Tim Flavin played Mr Frank well. However, the character was a tired old cliché and not one I enjoyed watching. In fact, I enjoyed watching Lizzie Cundy more, mainly to see if I could spot her apparently-Botoxed face move. On the plus, she is at least the genuine article – a real-life WAG, and definitely looked the part.</p><p></p><p>A succession of other, equally forgettable characters “graced” the stage. Another WAG, another bad actress, a camp designer, each as dreary as the last.</p><p></p><p>I simply cannot spend another minute thinking about this complete travesty of a show, so I will leave you with the words of Andrzej Lukowski of Time Out, who says: “Wag! sort of blunders on in a dull, well-meaning muddle, two-and-a-half drab, weakly-sung, low-budget hours.”</p><p></p><p>Well said, Andrzej. Well said.</p><p></p><p>WAG! The Musical is listed at the Charing Cross Theatre until 24 August, although I can’t see it completing the full run. I heard on the grapevine they’re hoping to tour it in 2014 too. Tickets cost... oh, I don’t know. Save your time, money and sanity by not buying one.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p> </p>