Seven Things Women Expect From Gay Men

(GayWebSource.com – Gay News & Press Network) – Posted by Jake Simpson – TheGayUK.com

Homos and women have played together since before Barbie and anal beads were invented.

There are the girls you don’t speak to or hangout with every week but you consider them your good pals. And there’s the ladies you can’t get off the blower. They’re glued to your Dsquared2, black leather biker jacket sleeve, and they fill in the gaps when there’s no love interest – your fag-hag.

Both have expectations – you are their fag-bangle after all.

The female friends you don’t see often.

When said friend is invited to a wedding, bar mitzvah or social engagement you might be summoned to fill in as her plus one if she’s single. Be prepared to be dropped quicker than a bag of Whole Foods organic yams if she lays her hands on a ripped, Brazilian cage fighter.

Your scintillating repartee is one of the reasons she adores you, and why you’re invited to most of her soirees. You’re cheaper than a magician.

Who needs Cosmopolitan magazine for sex advice. You know how to handle said tool and you own one.

You’re her agony aunt. All gays are good listeners and they give the best advice.

The fag-hag

All of the above plus extras.

Your fag-hag will want to be invited to the opening of your sock drawer as well as a heavy, disco-ball-swinging night out at the Shadow Lounge.

She’ll assume she’s your number one girl and should be made a priority in all situations. Fag-hag can turn from pretty, perfectly preened princess into grouchy, green-eyed gremlin if this doesn’t happen.

Fag-hags require the same reassuring belly tickles, pettings and cuddles as your prized cockapoo.

But let’s face it chaps, when the glass slipper is on the other immaculately pedicured tootsie, we demand just as much, probably more. We’re just a grand piano minus the candelabra without them.

Thank the Lord baby Jesus for all our female chums.

by Thabian Sutherland